


throw away yesterday's you and me

by ijd00



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 'lil bit of angst, M/M, mark and jisung are bros, secret agent AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-28 07:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19389007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijd00/pseuds/ijd00
Summary: Mark’s always longed for something more than his generic existence, something to come and break up the monotony of his daily routine. But when he comes home one day to the sight of his house on fire, Mark learns that his family history is more complicated than he could have ever predicted.(Or, Taeyong has a secret, and inevitably it catches up to him.)





	1. the past is shouting out to me

**Past:**

The explosion causes the foundation to shake below them, and Jaehyun curses when he hears the sound of more men storming up the stairs. This is decidedly not good. Next to him, Taeyong grips his sword tighter and gets into a crouching position to better ready himself for whatever is going to burst through the doors.

Sure enough, a few minutes later heavily armored men kick the door down. Before most of them can react, there are arrows sticking out of various armor gaps and four guys hit the ground hard. Jaehyun makes a mental note to thank Ten, and in the meantime begins to take the rest of their enemies. Between him and Taeyong, they don’t stand much of a chance and go down laughably easy.

“You good?” Taeyong asks as he bends over one of the bodies to inspect the damage inflicted.

Jaehyun nods and then says out loud, “Yeah. Good work.”

He and Taeyong have only worked together for the past few months, but with the amount of stress that comes with the position and the sheer amount of missions they’ve been on, Jaehyun feels like he’s known him all his life. He still doesn’t know what kind of algorithm SM Agency uses to decide which agents work with which, but so far it’s been foolproof.

SM agents know how to get the job done, and they get it done well. They’re all close, but like the other agents, Jaehyun is closest with those in his unit. NCT. Taeyong’s actually the leader of NCT, as if the long and impressive list of accomplishments Taeyong has wasn’t long enough.

Working with him has proven why Taeyong is the leader too. He’s brutally efficient, unafraid of almost everything, and 100% willing to throw himself in the line of danger to get the job done no matter what. Jaehyun would be scared of him if he didn’t know that underneath his icy glare, Taeyong is one of the kindest and most giving people alive. Just not to his enemies.

He’s like a mom to all of NCT’s members, even though they’re fully capable of defending themselves and dismantling illegal organizations. It’s actually kind of funny watching field-hardened agents get mothered by a man Jaehyun has seen take out an entire squadron armed with just his sword. The duality of men he supposes.

There is of course the minor problem of Jaehyun’s massive crush on Taeyong, but like, whatever. He’s made it this far without revealing anything, he can keep it together for however long they make it.

*******

Jaehyun joined SM Agency following his service in the military and so far, hasn’t had a single regret. Sure it was hard and the training SM put them through made the training for the military seem like child’s play, but SM brought him his friends, most of whom he now considers family. And Taeyong.

Already familiar with guns, Jaehyun was trained in the art of swordsmanship, and that was where he first saw Taeyong. He was SM’s prodigy, their golden boy. Everything he did was praised and raised as the standard for everyone else to follow, but for all the compliments showered his way, Taeyong seemed pretty humble.

He was always willing to demonstrate a technique for someone or spar with them if desired. Of course actually beating him was near impossible, but each defeat served as good motivation to improve. Jaehyun likes to try his hand every once in awhile just to see where his skills are in comparison. He never wins any of the battles, but afterwards, when Taeyong sends a smile or compliment his way, it kind of feels like Jaehyun’s won anyway.

Jaehyun spent a lot of time as a trainee just watching Taeyong move around the room with his sword, practicing and honing in on his skills. Taeyong never seemed to mind that he had an audience so Jaehyun never left. They got into a routine of doing that, and Jaehyun eventually built up the courage to compliment Taeyong on his form. Taeyong smiled at him shyly and complimented him in return. It was not good for his heart.

Before they were officially a part of NCT, Jaehyun hoped that they would be in the same group. Never in a million years did he think they would not only end up in the same group, but that he would be Taeyong’s partner. He quickly got over how starstruck Taeyong made him feel once he saw how uncomfortable he seemed with the attention. Being Taeyong’s partner gave Jaehyun the unique chance to get to know him inside and out, and he took both his job and the opportunity seriously.

One of the first things Jaehyun learned was that Taeyong is shy. For someone of his position and level of prestige, Jaehyun was surprised to learn just how awkward Taeyong was in a lot of situations. The first time they were out in the field, they had to talk to an older woman and Taeyong got so flustered by her compliments on his looks that Jaehyun had to take over.

Once they’d gotten what they’d needed, Taeyong apologized profusely for getting distracted and in his words, almost blowing the whole mission, but Jaehyun waved him off.

“It’s okay,” he’d said, letting one of his signature dimples show, “Don’t worry about it hyung, you were amazing out there. And that’s why you’ve got me, to balance you out!”

Taeyong smiled back at him and thanked him for his kind words. After that, Jaehyun learned new things about Taeyong almost every day. Behind the leader mask and tough front that his resting face puts on, Taeyong is a giant marshmallow. He giggles at the dumbest things and always asks Jaehyun for his opinion on whatever he does.

They even began training together, Taeyong teaching Jaehyun how to master some of the more complex sword techniques. Every time Jaehyun mastered something, Taeyong rewarded him with a wide smile and a pat on the head. Sometimes, if it was really complex or Jaehyun did exceptionally well, Taeyong gave him a hug.

Ten the stupid idiot, sends him suggestive looks from across the training area and wiggles his eyebrows whenever Taeyong so much as steps in Jaehyun’s direction. He’s Taeyong’s best friend, but Jaehyun doesn’t trust him when it comes to this. Especially when Ten cackles at him for “being the sappiest fool in love to ever exist.”

He’s not in love Ten, so shut up.

*******

As Taeyong runs through one of the people attacking them with his sword, Jaehyun actually stops and takes a moment to stare shamelessly. It’s one of the dumbest things he’s done in the field, but there’s something about Taeyong that’s so captivating it compels everyone to drop everything and look at him.

The way he moves is so fluid, has so much grace. Jaehyun can’t believe he’s actually blessed enough to see Taeyong in action. God he sounds so stupid, but Taeyong turns him into a fool. Into Taeyong’s fool.

Taeyong looks at him from where he stands and quirks an eyebrow, “Are you going to help me or just stare?”

Jaehyun’s definitely in love.

**Present:**

Mark likes to think that he leads a normal life. And to be honest, he does. Every morning he wakes up ridiculously early for school, washes his face while still semi-asleep, and then stumbles into the kitchen where the rest of his family is eating. It’s been this way ever since he was younger, with the only main difference being that now he wakes up on his own as opposed to his father gently shaking him awake.

Jisung looks even more dead than Mark feels, but Taeyong sends a bright smile in Mark’s direction when he enters. He slides a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of Mark and he mumbles a thanks before digging in. Although not the standard Korean breakfast, Mark had fallen in love with the meal when they all took a trip to Canada. So now, Taeyong makes it for him every once is a while, making sure to arrange the bacon and eggs so that they form a smiling face.

After eating, he changes into clothing more appropriate for school (which is pretty much anything other than what he slept in) and then drags Jisung out the door with threats of not letting him see Chenle. It’s one of the only things that works against him anymore, even though Mark has no actual power over Jisung’s ability to see his best friend. Taeyong waves them goodbye from his position by the window and then Mark drives away.

At school, he sits through his classes, taking diligent notes (because he just knows that next year when Donghyuck takes this class, he’s not gonna take notes and will instead demand Mark’s) and generally moving through the motions. Of course his friends help make it all a little less monotonous, but Mark can’t help but wish for a little adventure to spice up his life.

*******

When Mark finally gets home after a long day at school he’s exhausted (five APs and extra curricular activities will do that to you), and all he wants is to eat some food before sinking into sweet oblivion. (Never mind the large pile of homework waiting for him. A little procrastination never hurt anyone.) Practice drained whatever remained of his spirit and he’s seriously considering dropping one of the two sports he plays. Mark makes a mental note to ask Taeyong about it later.

“Dad,” Mark can hear Jisung asking, probably from the living room, “You miss Appa right?”

Mark thinks that’s kind of a stupid question. Of course Taeyong misses him. Their appa died when he and Jisung were younger, but Mark’s never forgotten the look of immense sadness on Taeyong’s face. Even though he was only ten, Mark could tell just how deeply his passing affected him. He’d died in a car crash, and ever since then Taeyong had driven the boys pretty much everywhere until Mark begged for his own car. Even then, Taeyong had been reluctant to give in.

There’s a photo album dedicated to their appa that sits on the coffee table, and Mark knows Jisung goes through it almost every day. The photos date back to when he and Taeyong started dating, their wedding, and when Mark and Jisung came into their lives. Mark looks at it when the sadness of missing his appa hits him and smiles at all the memories they made together.

On the inside of the front cover, all four of their names are written in Taeyong’s precise handwriting.

“Taeyong, Doyoung, Mark, and Jisung.”

“Every day,” Taeyong replies, “I loved him very much, almost as much as I love you and Mark.”

“Have you ever loved anyone more than you loved us Dad?” Jisung questions.

“No,” Taeyong says, and it’s almost undetectable but Mark swears his voice wavers, just a tiny bit, “You and Mark are the loves of my life.”

**Past:**

If Jaehyun thought just being able to work with Taeyong was an honor, then being able to date him must be the highest reward known to man. For the first month or so after Jaehyun confesses, they keep it a secret. They don’t do it on purpose, but both he and Taeyong agree that their relationship is for them and no one else, therefore there’s no need to immediately tell everyone about its existence.

Plus, a very large part of him wants to keep Taeyong all to himself, tucked away in a secret corner only the two of them know about. If Jaehyun could, if Taeyong would let him get away with it, he would do it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, Taeyong takes his job as leader of NCT very seriously. He’d have to be dragged kicking and screaming away from the team. Jaehyun smiles at the thought of an older Taeyong still leading NCT even when they’re in their sixties.

He’s pretty sure Ten knows about the development in their relationship from the shit eating grins he keeps sending their way, but then again, Ten’s sent them that grin ever since the two met. Yuta does the same thing, but with a little (and really, it’s marginal) more subtlety.

Of all people who find out first, it just had to be Sicheng. Sicheng’s specialty is gathering information and blending into the background (which Jaehyun finds weird because Sicheng has some other worldly visuals). Sneaking up on people is straight up his alley and the fact that both Taeyong and Jaehyun were distracted (they were kissing in their shared dorm) probably just made sneaking easier.

It was their day off, but instead of going out with Johnny or Yuta, they’d elected to stay in. Somehow staying in ended up meaning making out while some sappy drama played in the background, but Jaehyun wasn’t complaining.

Sicheng clears his throat and Jaehyun and Taeyong spring apart like they’ve been burnt.

“Sicheng!” Taeyong cries, face flushed bright red, “Hi! What can I do for you? Do you need something?”

“Well,” he drawls, “I was going to ask Jaehyun if he wanted to come spar, but now I feel the immense power that comes with having blackmail material so that desire has now shifted.”

Dammit. Sicheng is the worst person to owe things to. Knowing him, Jaehyun will have to extract one of Sicheng’s weapons from some animal’s stomach, or fetch a car out of a river. This is not going to end well, especially because Sicheng will make sure to cash in on the favor at the most inconvenient moment just to be annoying. Then he’ll smile innocently and all will be forgiven.

The flush has receded from Taeyong’s face and he faces Sicheng with a smirk instead.

“Blackmail huh?” he muses, before pulling out his phone and dialing a number.

“Ten?,” Taeyong says briskly, “Yeah. Jaehyun and I are dating.”

Everyone winces from the sound of Ten’s shrieks and Jaehyun can hear him screeching about how he’s got to tell everyone about this new development. Before he can ask Taeyong why on earth he’d tell Ten of all people, he catches sight of Sicheng’s face. He’s pouting. There’s no potential blackmail if their relationship isn’t a secret. Now Sicheng can’t make them do questionable things for free.

Bless Taeyong. Honestly.

**Present:**

When Mark wished for some spice in his life, this was definitely not what he had in mind. After dropping Donghyuck off at his house following a maybe date at the movie theater (their relationship status is complicated, okay?), he’d expected to be greeted with the familiar smell of kimchi fried rice, not the smell of a house burning down.

Shit. It hits him that that’s _his_ house. And it’s burning down. Mark can hear Jisung’s shouts from where he stands and that’s what jolts him into action. He (stupidly) sprints into the burning house, only to run directly into his father. Taeyong stares at him for a moment before shaking his head.

“Mark,” he says frantically, “You need to get out of here before the house collapses.”

“Not without you and Jisung,” Mark declares boldly, even though he’s shaking.

Taeyong smiles at that, “My brave little lion. You’re going to need to be brave for me for a little while longer okay?”

Taeyong hasn’t called Mark a lion since Doyoung died. When Mark was little he had an obsession with the animal, mostly because Doyoung said that Mark looked like one. Doyoung called him lion pretty much all the time, with Taeyong occasionally using the nickname. It’s a little jarring hearing it get used once again.

For a moment, the smile falls off Taeyong’s face, “I’m sorry. This is all my fault, but I’m going to try and fix it okay? Go to this address and take Jisung with you. Whatever you do, don’t let him out of your sight and stay safe. I love you.”

Before Mark can say anything, Jisung stumbles in, his backpack slung over his shoulder and their family photo album clutched in his hands. He looks between his older brother and father confused, and with each passing moment Mark can feel the heat rising. It reminds him that a burning house is not the best place to be having a serious conversation. In addition, the sound of heavy footsteps is approaching, and based on the look on Taeyong’s face, it’s not firefighters here to put out the fire.

“Go,” Taeyong chokes out, fumbling with the chain around his neck, “Tell them LTY0107 sent you.”

He finally manages to remove the necklace and presses it insistently into Mark’s hand. Whatever is attached to the chain is cold despite the fire raging around them and Mark nods dumbly before grabbing Jisung’s hand and running. Jisung’s crying as they make their way through the wreckage and Mark can’t help but look back at his father.

Taeyong’s back is to them, but he’s holding what looks like a sword of some kind, leaving Mark to wonder just how much he doesn’t know about his father and the kind of life he led before he and his brother came along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Is is kind of weird that TY and Jaehyun use swords when guns exist? Yes. But TY and Jaehyun with swords was an aesthetic that I couldn't resist so here we are.  
> -The title of this fic is from TY's rap in Yestoday (a god tier bop) and the chapter title is from Come Back (a song that slaps in three whole languages, when will your faves ever?)
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/yellowmusings)


	2. don't ever let me come down from your love

**Present:**

The house they roll up to is pretty normal looking all things considered. It’s painted an unsuspecting gray with a bright yellow door. If he had passed it under any other circumstances, Mark wouldn’t have thought twice. There’s no indication of a reason why Taeyong would send his sons to this place, but Mark supposes they’re about to find out.

In the passenger seat next to him, Jisung is silent with what Mark belatedly realized is probably shock. Oh god. AP calculus didn’t teach him how to deal with this. Mark tentatively places his hand on Jisung’s arm and his brother turns to him, eyes wide.

“Hyung?”

Jisung hasn’t called Mark hyung since they were ten and seven respectively. It was right after Doyoung died, and neither Mark nor Taeyong were in the right mindset to correct Jisung, so the lack of honorific stuck.

“Sungie,” Mark murmurs, “Um. Dad said that this was a safe place to go until he could come get us.”

Well. That’s what Mark hopes at least. That Taeyong will eventually be able to come get them, because to be honest those men had seemed very intimidating. And the house was on fire. Not that he doubts his father or anything, but seriously. The odds were not looking good. Okay not helping Mark. Focus.

Jisung’s face relaxes a bit at the mention of their father and Mark takes it as a good sign. He coaxes Jisung out of the car with more reassurances about Taeyong and sighs before turning back towards the house. He’s sure the yellow door is meant to convey a welcoming spirit, but it just intimidates him.

Taking a deep breath, Mark fortifies himself before he walks over and knocks on the door. When no one answers, he glances back at Jisung before trying again. This time, the door swings open but before Mark can say hello, a pair of cat-like eyes stare at him suspiciously.

“Um,” Mark says intelligently, “Hi. My name is Mark and that’s my brother Jisung.”

This seems to mean nothing to the man because he keeps looking at them unimpressed. Right okay, he can do this. If Taeyong sent them to this guy then he can clearly be trusted. What did he say to tell the people? LTY0107. Whatever that means.

Mark tries again, “My dad, uh, LTY0107, sent us.”

“LTY0107?” the man’s cat-like eyes stop scrutinizing them and he turns a gummy smile on them instead, “Come right in. Sweetheart! We’ve got company!”

*******

The cat eyed man introduces himself as Minseok and apologizes for his initial treatment of the boys.

“Can’t be too sure these days you know?” he says with a carefree wave of his hand.

Mark’s not sure exactly what Minseok is talking about but nods anyway. Jisung’s in the kitchen with another man who introduced himself as Jongdae, something about tea and cookies. Mark had been ready to protest being separated from his brother, but Jisung had perked up at the mention of cookies which was frankly the first positive reaction he’d had since they left their home, so Mark let him.

“So,” Minseok says leaning forward, “You mentioned TY. It’s interesting, I didn’t even know he knew where we lived.”

“Yeah,” Mark swallows, “He’s my dad. And I just - today when I got home our house was on fire and instead of like, calling 911 he told me to come to this place with Jisung and tell them LTY0107 sent us. And like, I think there were people at our house and Dad was holding a sword which makes no sense because Dad’s an artist, the only things he holds are paint brushes, but there he was wielding a sword. And no offense, but I really don’t get how you fit into all of this because I don’t know you and I’d just really like some answers.”

“An artist?” Minseok muses, “We’re talking about the same TY right? Red hair, intimidating face, skinny as hell?”

“Dad’s got black hair,” Mark says.

“Huh, so he stopped dyeing it. Probably best for his poor scalp. Anyway you wanted answers, but I don’t know how useful I’m going to be. I knew Taeyong, but didn’t really work with him much, we were in different units.”

Different…units? Do artists have units? And wait, Taeyong had red hair? For Mark’s entire life, his hair has been black and that’s it, no indication of a desire to make it any other shade. He remembers that when he was younger, Jisung, who must have been like five at the time, asked Taeyong if he’d dye his hair pink to look more like a character he liked, but Taeyong had just laughed and said no.

“What do you mean different units?”

Minseok raises an eyebrow, “Well, Dae and I were with EXO and Taeyong was with NCT. Our paths crossed multiple times, but not enough for me to get to know him that well.”

Mark’s still confused, “EXO? NCT? What are those?”

“He never told you?”

“Told me what?”

The longer Mark and Minseok talk, the more frustrated Mark gets. Clearly Minseok thinks Mark knows more than he actually does, but about what Mark doesn’t know. He’s about to burst and ask the older man to just tell him what the hell is happening but Minseok’s paused and looks at Mark like it’s the first time he’s properly seen him.

“Oh,” Minseok says softly, “Mark, your father was a secret agent.”

*******

His father was a what.

It sounds so absurd that Mark almost laughs out loud. Taeyong’s not a secret agent. He’s…Taeyong. He cooks really good meals, does his best to help Mark and Jisung with their homework, dances with Jisung like an idiot on the weekends, bought Mark his first guitar after Mark said he wanted one on a whim, and cries over dramas when he thinks Mark and Jisung aren’t watching. The idea of Taeyong running around in, what, spandex?, is foreign.

“No way,” Mark says confidently, “I think I got the wrong house, there’s no way we’re talking about the same person.”

Minseok shakes his head, “I’m dead serious. LTY0107 was his code, we all had one. Mine was KMS2603 and Dae was KJD2109. We’re a few years older than TY though, so we worked under the group EXO. Your father was the leader of NCT until he up and vanished years ago.”

“What?” Mark can’t think of anything else to say, unwilling to believe what this essential stranger is telling him.

Minseok seems so confident in who he thinks Taeyong is, but it makes no sense. Sensing he’s going to need something other than just his word to prove his point, Minseok leans towards the kitchen.

“Dae!” Minseok calls, “Can you bring the yearbook?”

The yearbook? What kind of spy agency makes a yearbook for their agents? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the point of being anonymous? Clearly this particular group of spies didn’t care, because sure enough Jongdae emerges with both Jisung and a bound book.

Jisung plops himself on Mark’s lap and Minseok opens the book, skimming for a bit over names before smiling triumphantly and pointing at something.

And Mark’ll be damned if it isn’t his father staring up at him. His hair really is red and he looks impossibly young, like he was barely eighteen when the picture was taken. Underneath, instead of his name is LTY0107. There are other people on the page, NYT2610, SJN0902, but Mark can’t tear his eyes away from Taeyong.

Shit.

*******

The man in front of him is shorter than he is, but Mark’s fairly certain he could kick his ass if needed. He’d bounded into the room with an energy level Mark absolutely could not relate to.

“I’m Ten!” the man chirps happily, guiding them through the building with ease, “Welcome to SM Agency.”

SM Agency is located in a really big building. He and Jisung are currently in the lobby, eyes wide as they take it in. The security involved to get in was insane and Mark doesn’t think he’s ever been so thoroughly scrutinized in his life. The lobby is very fancy, photos lining the walls of what Mark assumes are agents. Maybe it’s a collection of all their greatest hits.

He tries to find Taeyong in any of them, but doesn’t get very far before giving up. They seem to start a couple of decades before his father was even born, which means that while his father might be on the wall, it would be a long way down.

Minseok and Jongdae had dropped them off after calling up someone they said would probably have more answers to Mark’s questions than they would. After making sure they had enough cookies to feed a small army, they wished them both well and said their house was open to them anytime they needed.

“Jisung,” Ten says, and Jisung looks at him, “I’m going to give you to a few of our younger agents, okay? You can see Mark after I take him to see someone.”

Jisung’s eyes dart to Mark and he tries to smile encouragingly at his brother. Taeyong said not to let Jisung leave his sight, but Jisung looks really relieved at the thought of hanging out with someone closer to his age. Mark squeezes Jisung’s hand and promises that he’ll come get him as soon as Ten is done introducing him to the person.

At Jisung’s tentative nod, Ten says something into the earpiece Mark just noticed was in his ear and three boys come bounding into sight.

“Hi, I’m-“

“Oh my god you’re so cute,” one of the boys squeals, cutting off his friend.

The same boy bounds over to Jisung and pinches one of his cheeks, smile widening when it squishes. Doyoung used to call Jisung Mochisung due to how elastic his cheeks were, even as a kid. It’s one of his more charming points.

“Nana,” the first boy says with an eye roll, “You can’t just squish people. Especially when they’ve been through trauma.”

Normally Mark would agree, especially since Jisung is not known for liking people touching him outside his family (and Chenle) but he’s looking at this boy like he’s a new religion and Jisung’s suddenly found faith.

The boy (Nana?) pouts but releases his hold on Jisung and says, “Fine.”

“I’m Renjun,” the first boy, the one who got cut off, says, “Cheek squasher over there is Jaemin, and this is Jeno.”

Jeno gives Mark and Jisung a friendly wave that Mark returns awkwardly.

“Hi, I’m Mark and this is my brother Jisung.”

“Jisung is such a cute name,” Jaemin gushes, “Come on Jisung, we’re going to have so much fun together.”

With that, he grabs Jisung by the hand and pulls him back towards wherever the three originally came from. Mark lets out a laugh at the look of slight fear on Jisung’s face, too intimidated to pull away from Jaemin even though Jaemin’s a little shorter.

Now that Jisung’s safely accounted for, Mark turns to Ten again expectedly. He wonders who could be important enough for Ten to take him to, and why Jisung wouldn’t be allowed to come.

“Got any questions for the walk?” Ten asks, “The person we’re gonna see works a decent ways from the lobby.”

Dear god yes. A million questions are floating around Mark’s head and he doesn’t know which ones he wants to ask first. Ten’s the first person who is apparently completely willing to answer the burning questions Mark has and he’s so grateful he blurts the first thing that comes to mind.

“Why’s Dad’s designation LTY0107. Like, I get that LTY are his initials but what are the numbers?”

Ten snorts a little, “It’s his birthday obviously. 0107, July 1. C’mon kid I thought you were smart.”

Mark stares, “Um, no it’s not. Dad’s birthday is February 14. Valentine’s Day. If codes are based on birthdays, it should’ve been 1402.”

The smile on Ten’s face fades into something that resembles shock and then sadness.

“Oh honey,” Ten says, “That’s what he told you?”

*******

Ten takes him to a door that seems to lead into an office and he knocks on it carelessly, stepping back to examine his fingers.

“What?” a voice grouches, “I’m very busy right now. The door is closed specifically because I don’t want to be bothered.”

Ten rolls his eyes, “Please spare me your melodrama, my day’s already been dramatic enough.”

“You want to bet?” the voice says again, “I’ve been stuck training LDH0606 all day and you know how he is.”

“Hyuck is a good kid, you just find it annoying because he’s like you were. Eager to be good enough to impress your hyung,” Ten sends back impatiently, “And that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because Minseok and Jongdae called me to deliver some news that I was most definitely not expecting. Your past has finally caught up to you Jung Jaehyun, and two kids are now in the line of fire.”

The door swings open to reveal what looks like a Disney prince. The guy is seriously tall and his visuals are no joke. He’s probably around his father’s age if Mark had to guess, but that doesn’t make him any less pretty. Taeyong’s still one of the most handsome men Mark has ever seen in his life, even with all the secret agents he’s met (seriously was good looks a requirement to be an agent?). Mark’s half tempted to ask him if he’d ever considered being an idol.

“What past?” Jaehyun asks blankly, “There’s no one who cares about me from my past.”

“I’m telling Johnny that you’re in one of your emo moods again,” Ten tells Jaehyun, “And hey! We all care about you and we’re from your past. But anyway, this is Mark Lee. He’s one of the kids caught up in this mess along with his younger brother Jisung.”

Jaehyun raises a (perfect) eyebrow in Mark’s direction and says, “Congrats. How on earth do these two kids relate to me and my past though?”

“Who’s your appa?” Ten asks Mark triumphantly.

“Kim Doyoung.”

“Oh my god,” Ten groans, “The other one.”

“You asked who my appa was! That’s what we called him!” Mark defends, “My dad’s Lee Taeyong.”

Upon hearing the name, Jaehyun slams the door back in their faces.

“Well,” Ten sighs, “That could’ve gone better.”

**Past:**

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong finally says, and the fact that he’s actually using his name and not a nickname, that’s what finally makes the tears fall from Jaehyun’s eyes.

He knows. It’s over. Still, Jaehyun can’t help but want to scream and desperately try to fix what remains between them.

Where did they go wrong? Was it after their first fight about SM and the kind of agency they worked for? The first time they went on solo missions and Jaehyun almost got killed, leading to Taeyong’s tears and another argument about SM? The fact that their marriage is kept hidden because SM doesn’t allow partners to marry each other for fear of what could happen?

(The more he thinks about it, most of his and Taeyong’s problems come from SM. But despite that, he can’t just up and leave, the agency is the only thing he’s ever known. Without SM, he doesn’t know who Jung Jaehyun is, and he’s so, so afraid of finding out. This is of course, also the reason he and Taeyong are probably going to get a divorce.)

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong repeats, and oh he’s never hated hearing his name before, “I’m always going to love you. But SM is killing me.”

He knows.

(“Jae, they’re _suffocating_ me. It’s like I’m drowning, and the only hope I have of swimming to safety is leaving.”

“Leaving me?”

“What, Jae, no. I love you, I’d never leave you.”

“So you want me to leave with you?”

A bite of his lips, “…No.”

He’s lying.

“Yong, I can’t leave SM. They’re all I’ve got.”

“Oh.”

A tremble. Soft voice. Watery eyes. Shit. That’s not what he meant.

“No, baby that’s not what I meant, I-I’m sorry. But what are we going to do with ourselves if we leave? This is the only thing I’ve ever known how to do.”

“We’d find some way to make it work Hyunnie, we always do. I could be a dancer, an artist. You can open a cafe like you always wanted to when you were younger.”

“That’s not how life works hyung, nothing’s that simple. How can you be so confident?”

“I’d have you.”

A simple declaration, yet it still sends his heart racing. No. Focus.

“Yong, I-I can’t just leave.”

“And I can’t stay.”

There it is. A moment of silence as they stare at each other, physically so close but mentally millions of miles apart. Seven years. A decent run, but he wants so many more.

“Jaehyun.”)

“Where are you going to go?” he whispers.

Taeyong deflates, like a sail that’s suddenly lost all of its wind, “I don’t know. Anywhere as long as it’s away from SM.”

“Please don’t go,” he implores.

“I have to,” Taeyong responds, and his voice is remarkably steady even though Jaehyun can see how much this is tearing him apart, can see the tears streaking his beautiful face, “Jae, Jaehyun, I can’t stay in SM. I’m not made to be an agent like you are. SM’s given me so many things, so many opportunities, but it’s time for me to move on.”

Move on from _him_.

“If you’re going to,” and at this Jaehyun chokes, “If you’re going to leave, then can you please do it tomorrow. Let me love you one more time before it’s over.”

“Oh Jaehyun,” Taeyong smiles, and it’s so pained and sad that Jaehyun’s vision blurs from the sheer amount of tears he’s producing, “I told you. I’m always going to love you. Please don’t ever doubt that.”

The next morning, Taeyong’s gone.

*******

When Jaehyun finally shows up to work again, everything is in absolute chaos. Taeyong leaving left a void inside him that makes everything feel numb. He doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore and the day following Taeyong’s disappearance, Jaehyun didn’t leave the bed, not even to eat. His sobs echoed throughout the now too large apartment and the silence only made him cry harder.

He resembled a vegetable for the next few days, curled up in bed and only managing to leave once or twice to eat. Since he and Taeyong weren’t technically allowed to get married, there’s no wedding certificate to cry over or official divorce papers to sign. If there were, Jaehyun would at least get to see Taeyong again, but no. Taeyong’s gone.

After seven years, it’s just…over. As Jaehyun contemplates living out the rest of his life in his (their) bed, a voice that sounds eerily similar to Taeyong’s reminds him that he can’t waste away in bed all day. So with a sigh, he drags himself out of bed, takes a long (and well needed) shower, forces himself to put on clothes, and eats.

As he munches on his piece of toast (too dry, Taeyong was always better at using the toaster), he checks his phone for the first time and sees a ton of messages, most of which he elects to ignore. The ones from Ten only make him want to curl up into a ball and cry again.

 **Tenneth** | 12:47  
JUNG JAEHYUN WHAT THE FUCK!!11!!!!!11  
HOE  
TY LEFT?????????  
JAEHYUUUUUUNNNNNN  
TY LEFT SM AND NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAD THE DECENCY TO TELL ME, ARE YOU NEXT??  
BITCH YOU BETTER RESPOND TO ME

 **John-Knee** | 13:02  
Sorry about Ten, he’s a little worked up and hiding how sad he is about TY’s departure by acting like an idiot.  
In all seriousness, what happened?

 **Tenneth** | 16:35  
okay I’m calm now, sorry for the freak out  
u good?

Jaehyun chooses not to respond to any of them, deciding that that’s a problem for later. Apparently though, his phone is no match for the shit storm waiting for him at SM. In addition to Taeyong leaving, there’s been a coup of some sort. Lee Sooman was disposed of last night and there’s a new leader in place.

Kim Junmyeon. Huh.

*******

There are plenty of rumors floating around, but Jaehyun eventually figures out the truth. Kim Junmyeon led his unit (EXO) against the leader of SM and won. It’s a bit of a surprise, especially because Junmyeon always seemed like the perfect, obedient leader, but the more Jaehyun thinks about it the more it makes sense.

Junmyeon is one of those who has suffered the most under SM, having lost three (and a half) of his agents. It was during what should have been a simple mission that ended up being a trap. A trap SM knew was there and still let EXO-M walk into anyway. It resulted in the deaths of three of Ms members, the crippling of another, and the absorption of the remaining two into EXO-K.

After the incident, everyone (including Jaehyun) thought Junmyeon would leave or throw the mother of all tantrums, do _something_ , but instead he continued to work with his head down. When he and Taeyong would meet up with their friends to relax, Ten would always scorn Junmyeon for not fighting back and call him an idiot.

But now, Jaehyun thinks that Junmyeon is the smartest person alive. He bided his time and waited for the perfect moment to strike, orchestrating everything to a T. And Jaehyun knows that for how elaborate the take down was, Junmyeon spent a long time formulating and accounting for every possibility. There was no room for error in an operation of this scale, and Junmyeon performed flawlessly.

There’s a new respect for Junmyeon and a healthy amount of fear, people wondering what kind of leader he’s going to end up being. His reign started out violently, but Jaehyun is confident that Junmyeon won’t let that continue. Junmyeon is a fair man, someone who’s actually capable of running SM and taking it to greater heights than before.

He gets called into Junmyeon’s office eventually and Jaehyun sighs. He knew that something like this would be coming. Even though NCT are the only ones who know that he and Taeyong were married, it was common knowledge that they were partners, close ones at that. There’s no way this won’t be about him.

“Jaehyun,” Junmyeon says, and Jaehyun can see how _tired_ he looks slouched in Lee Sooman’s chair, “I’m sorry about Taeyong. He was a valuable agent and a good friend.”

“He was my husband,” is what Jaehyun wants to say back, but he can’t because Taeyong _left_.

“Thank you,” is what he mutters instead.

Junmyeon clears his throat awkwardly, “Um, without him, you guys are going to need to decide what to do about NCT and its next leader. Obviously you can take your time, but let me know what your decision is.”

Jaehyun nods and then leaves when Junmyeon dismisses him. Later, NCT gathers to discuss their lack of leader and the options that leaves them. There are lots of people who could take over, Johnny, Yuta, Jaehyun himself even. But the more they talk the more they come to the same conclusion, and the final vote is unanimous.

NCT’s leader is and always will be Taeyong. And in his absence, there will be no one else.

**Present:**

Ten’s been beating the door Jaehyun slammed shut for a solid fifteen minutes now and nothing has happened. Mark’s kind of concerned for the state of the door if he’s being honest. Ten strikes him as the kind of person to be relentless, so when Jaehyun finally reopens the door, Mark sighs in relief.

“Go away.”

“No can do buddy,” Ten says with a fake smile.

“How do I even know they’re actually related to him?” Jaehyun scowls.

Ten’s about to say something when Mark finally remembers the chain Taeyong gave him before making him and Jisung leave. It’s been in his pocket the entire time, but now he pulls it out and dangles it in the open.

“Um, Dad gave me this before we left. I-at first I thought these were from his marriage to Appa, but Jisung has those so um, yeah. I still don’t know what they are though,” Mark finishes lamely.

To be fair, it doesn’t seem to matter what he said because Jaehyun seems to have tuned everything out after seeing the chain. Mark might as well have slapped him given the gobsmacked expression on his face. There are two rings hanging from the chain, one of which is a simple silver band and the other much more elaborate.

“Jaehyun, are you crying?” Ten asks, sounding incredulous, and Mark’s startled to realize that he is.

The tears are silently rolling down his face, and Mark exchanges a look with Ten. Eventually Jaehyun gets it together and sniffs a couple of times before reaching out with a shaky hand and taking the rings. He traces over them with an equally shaky finger, like he can’t believe the rings actually exist.

“He-he kept these?” Jaehyun asks and his voice is a hoarse whisper.

“Guess so,” Mark says, “But what are they? Dad hasn’t really worn rings since Appa died and Jisung and I have never seen these before.”

Of course he’d noticed the chain, but Taeyong had been wearing it ever since Mark was a baby. It was always tucked under whatever shirt he was wearing. He never thought to ask what was on the other end.

Suddenly Ten gasps, “Wait are those-?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun whispers, “Our wedding rings.”

**Past:**

“Jaehyun,” Johnny says, trying to hide his smile, “You went through SM’s training with no problem, you can do this.”

Jaehyun doesn’t stop pacing, but he does finally look at Johnny, “Yeah but this is so much harder! Do you know how many different things could go wrong?”

“How is it harder?” Johnny asks, “You’re getting married, not risking your life. Although now that I think about it, marrying your partner is definitely not sanctioned by SM so this might be considered illegal and thus a risk to your life.”

“Johnny,” he groans, “Please. You’re making it worse.”

“Sorry,” Johnny says sheepishly, “Taeyong would probably be better at this than I am.”

Yes he would. Taeyong is better at everything when it comes to Jaehyun by sheer virtue of the fact that he’s Taeyong. But unfortunately for Jaehyun, this is their wedding which means he can’t see him for another half hour or so. Right before Jaehyun is convinced he’s going to have a panic attack, Ten waltzes in, brandishing an envelope. He waves at Johnny and then deposits the envelope in Jaehyun’s hands before whirling out again.

Ten’s weird.

But Jaehyun recognizes the handwriting on the front of the envelope’s as Taeyong’s and automatically relaxes. His hands have stopped shaking by the time he opens the envelope. Inside, there’s a photo of them from when they first became partners, and seeing how young he looked and how far the two of them have come since brings a smile to Jaehyun’s face. There’s a version of this photo where Taeyong is standing perfectly upright, stiff as a board. In the version Jaehyun’s holding, Taeyong’s got a small half smile on his face while Jaehyun beams, dimples out on full display. There’s also a letter.

_My Dearest Jae,_

_I know you’re probably freaking out by now, but it’s okay. Just think about the two of us in the future growing old together and take a few deep breaths. In and out. In and out. In and out._

_I can’t wait to see you waiting for me at the end of the aisle, and even though we can’t proclaim our love to the world (no matter how much I want to) it’s okay because we have each other and that’s all that matters._

_We’ve already done so many things together, just think of this as the next greatest adventure. I love you so much Jung Jaehyun, and I can’t wait to marry you and wake up to your beautiful, smiling face each and every day._

_See you on the other side._

_With lots of love,_

_Your Yongie (TY Track)_

With Taeyong’s letter, a wave of serenity washes over him, and Jaehyun smiles and tucks it, along with the photo, back into the envelope. He takes one final breath before grinning at a clearly relieved Johnny and readies himself to walk out to where their friends are waiting.

They may not be able to legally get married, but this is still a wedding and by the end of it Jaehyun and Taeyong will be married, regardless of if they have a piece of paper. He makes it through the next twenty minutes calmly, occasionally smiling down at the photo and letter. Trust Taeyong to know exactly how he would be feeling. When Jaehyun goes outside and stands next to Johnny and Yuta (who was for some reason ordained), waiting for Taeyong, all he feels is love and adoration.

When Taeyong comes out, Jaehyun’s pretty sure he stops breathing. Johnny has to subtly elbow him to get his lungs to start functioning again as Taeyong walks down the aisle arm in arm with Ten. Jaehyun doesn’t notice anything happening around him as Taeyong finally reaches him and they clasp hands, facing each other. Taeyong pokes his dimple and ducks his head as he laughs, eyes crinkling in happiness.

The actual words Yuta says go straight over Jaehyun’s head and Taeyong’s smile is so brilliant he swears he outshines the sun. He repeats his vows as if on autopilot and almost interrupts Yuta to tell him to move on to the part where they kiss. He can tell Taeyong knows exactly what he’s thinking based on the little giggle he lets out and Jaehyun falls just a little bit more in love.

Yuta finally announces that they can kiss and Jaehyun wastes no time, diving in to capture Taeyong’s lips in a sweet kiss, trying to convey all of his love and affection. It’s soul binding.

“I love you,” Taeyong mumbles against his lips.

“Forever and always baby,” Jaehyun says back, “Forever and always.”

Forever and always. He means it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I love Minseok and Jongdae, thus they are here.  
> -Ten is honestly such a mood. I love him.  
> -Sorry for writing TY and Jaehyun's divorce and wedding scene in the same chapter.  
> -Yes, $uho overthrows Lee Sooman and takes over SM, I don't make the rules. (Also, sorry to Kris, Luhan, and Tao for killing you guys off. Love you.)  
> -Chapter title is from Ten's iconic Dream in a Dream.
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/yellowmusings)


	3. if we could take out all the emotions

**Past:**

Taeyong’s been trying to capture the scene before him for at least an hour now, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t quite get the duck to cooperate. Not that he really expected the duck to listen to his whining commands, but it would have been nice. He stares sadly at the scene before him and the duck lets out a quack before swimming away.

He’s three seconds from chucking his paintbrush at the duck’s backside when a sudden wave of tiredness washes over him. Taeyong left SM four months ago and he’s done decently for himself ever since, but he misses Jaehyun. There are times when he’s out shopping that he turns to ask Jaehyun for his opinion, times when he cooks Jaehyun’s favorite foods (even the ones Taeyong himself never developed a taste for), times when Taeyong comes home and wants to collapse into arms that are no longer there to catch him.

Most of the first month post SM was spent wondering if leaving was really the right choice. He knows that if he stayed with SM, he would have eventually gone insane. Lee Sooman would have taken what remained of his soul and crushed it further, reducing it to dust so fine it would be practically nothing. So, yeah, leaving probably was the best thing he could have done.

But it cost him Jaehyun. And Taeyong still doesn’t know if that was worth it. It never occurred to him that Jaehyun wouldn’t have wanted to leave. Maybe if given more time, Jaehyun could have convinced him to stay, convinced him that things would change, but Taeyong was so, so tired of being treated terribly. It probably makes him selfish, but Taeyong would rather be free of SM and its influence than stuck there, even with Jaehyun, no matter how much he loves him.

He startles at the sound of someone snorting next to him, and when Taeyong looks over there’s an attractive looking guy who looks about a year younger holding a camera. While Taeyong was lost in his thoughts, the duck came back with some of its friends. They seem to have finally created the pose Taeyong wanted, and he missed it. He sighs.

“Long day?” the man snickers, but his tone sounds kind.

Taeyong sighs, “Yes. This stupid duck refuses to cooperate except for when I’m not looking. Clearly it has no appreciation for the dedication of starving artists to their craft.”

“Clearly,” the man says, peering at the canvas, “This is really good though.”

“Thanks,” Taeyong smiles shyly, “I’ve only really gotten into art these past few months so that means a lot.”

The man hums and then pauses before saying, “I uh, took a photo of the ducks doing that weird pose, so if you want I could send it to you and you can use it as a reference instead of waiting for them to do it again.”

Taeyong positively beams, “That would be amazing, thank you so much! You’re a lifesaver.”

“I’m Doyoung by the way. Kim Doyoung.”

Taeyong smiles and shakes Doyoung’s outstretched hand, “Lee Taeyong.”

*******

Somewhere over the next few weeks, Doyoung becomes Taeyong’s closest friend. They go out together weekly, Taeyong armed with his paintbrushes and Doyoung his camera. They exchange comments about the scenery, talk about their pasts, childhood dreams and the like.

Taeyong hasn’t relaxed this much in a while, no stress weighing down on him. Doyoung’s not a photographer by day, he’s actually a lawyer, and the first time Taeyong sees him in a suit he almost falls over. Before he knows it, they’re going out to dinner at least twice a week, watching movies (making sure to share the popcorn), and overall spending a lot of time together.

When his neighbor, a lovely man named Taeil, tells him that his boyfriend is very sweet (Doyoung came over once to surprise him with a new set of paints) Taeyong doesn’t think twice about the statement. The more he thinks about it, he and Doyoung do act like boyfriends. He brings it up the next day during dinner, mentioning that it feels like they’re practically dating, and Doyoung blinks at him before saying that he thought they already were.

From there, Taeyong feels more comfortable expressing his affection. There are only two things he hasn’t told Doyoung about, his time with SM and Jaehyun. He knows eventually SM will have to come up, but Taeyong doesn’t know if he can ever talk about Jaehyun. It still feels too raw, like a wound that will only close when enough time has passed.

For now, he pushes those thoughts to the back of his mind and focuses on Doyoung. Focuses on the way Doyoung laughs, how when he’s pouring over a new case, his face scrunches in the most adorable way, and how he loves to cook almost as much as Taeyong does.

The day that Doyoung leaves work in the middle of one of his important cases just because Taeyong called to say he couldn’t make it to dinner since he was sick in order to take care of him, that’s the day Taeyong realizes he and Doyoung might seriously have a future together.

*******

When Taeyong can’t sleep, he stares at the ceiling and allows his thoughts to drift to Jaehyun. When he and Jaehyun got married, they promised the world and forever to each other. But they were young and naive, didn’t fully understand what it meant to be married. Taeyong’s never going to regret his decision to marry Jaehyun, but he wishes they waited a few more years. Perhaps those years would have wisened them, given them the wisdom needed to navigate the road ahead.

Now, lying next to Doyoung, Taeyong wonders if he’s found a relationship where they’re both old enough to understand all the implications getting married comes with. They moved in together about a month ago and it’s been wonderful. He feels guilty sometimes for moving on from Jaehyun. Part of him wants to stay loyal to Jaehyun, never promise himself to another man. But there’s also a part of him, a part that only grows larger with each passing day, that loves Doyoung, wants to see the kinds of things they can do together.

Seven years is a long time to spend with someone, and Taeyong will never forget Jaehyun, but when he’s with Doyoung, Taeyong feels happy. So for now, he says goodbye to Jaehyun, always with love, yet with the intention of it being a final farewell. He’s never going to see Jaehyun again, and Doyoung is here now beside him. Jaehyun is his past, and Doyoung is his future. If he and Doyoung are going to continue this relationship though, he needs to tell him one more thing.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong whispers.

Next to him, Doyoung shifts and mumbles something unintelligible into his pillow. He’s always been a light sleeper, but sometimes he needs a little push. Taeyong gives him a tentative poke in the side, smiling a little when Doyoung only moans a faint protest.

“Um, before this relationship goes any further I need you to know something about my past.”

At that Doyoung raises his head out of his pillow and squints bleary eyed, “Why? You a murderer?”

Taeyong winces and Doyoung’s eyes widen and he sits up suddenly wide awake, “Wait are you serious?”

“It was all sanctioned,” Taeyong mumbles.

“ _What_?” Doyoung cries, “By _who_? The South Korean government?”

Nodding, Taeyong hastens to explain himself before Doyoung calls the police, “I used to work for SM Agency. We were basically all secret agents. I had just left them and that lifestyle behind when we first met and I swear I’m not making this up, I-I just thought it was only fair for you to know. In case you wanted to end this.”

Doyoung closes his eyes and Taeyong mentally counts the seconds that pass by. He makes it to one hundred and twenty seven before Doyoung opens his eyes again and fixes Taeyong with his stare. He looks him up and down, before flicking back to search Taeyong’s face. Taeyong doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but hopes that Doyoung stays.

“Okay,” Doyoung finally says, and Taeyong’s heart sinks before Doyoung continues, “Thank you for telling me. Even though it’s like two in the morning and I was not expecting that. Seriously Tae, this couldn’t have waited another few hours? Either way, I-I’m not quite okay with it, but you said you left it behind when we met which was a year ago and if you wanted to kill me or something you would’ve done it by now.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Taeyong rushes to say, “And thank you for understanding. I-I’m never going back to SM so you don’t ever have to worry about that.”

“I know,” Doyoung says, “I’m not worried about that. I know you.”

Taeyong tentatively reaches out to Doyoung and when he isn’t rejected, buries his face in Doyoung’s side, “Thanks for believing me.”

Doyoung sighs, “I told you Taeyong. I know you. This isn’t something you’d lie about. But seriously, we can talk more about this later, I’m tired.”

He then promptly falls back to sleep, leaving Taeyong to smile at him fondly. Right before sleep claims him, Taeyong realizes that Doyoung really does know him. He knows him better than anyone ever has before.

*******

Doyoung is the one who asks Taeyong to marry him. They’re back in the park where they first met, and Doyoung’s managed to tie a piece of paper to one of the duck’s necks. When Taeyong finally manages to liberate the duck of its note, he’s so absorbed in reading it that he doesn’t notice Doyoung dropping to one knee.

When he does though, he immediately starts crying. Doyoung smiles even though he’s trembling, and manages to say his speech without stumbling too much. Taeyong says yes as soon as he’s done, and promptly launches himself into Doyoung’s arms. They stay in that position for a couple of minutes and Taeyong can feel Doyoung’s tears seeping into the fabric of his coat.

Ever since he left SM, Taeyong's worn the rings he got from Jaehyun around his neck on a chain. Doyoung never asked about them, probably assumed they were from his parents. When thoughts about Jaehyun and the ensuing guilt threatened to consume him, the chain seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. Now, with Doyoung’s arms around him, the chain is weightless.

The wedding is small, just them and their closest friends and family. Taeyong longs to invite Ten, but he hasn’t spoken to him since he cut ties with SM. So he makes do with Doyoung’s family and the friends he’s made outside of SM. It’s nice, the weather is perfect and everything goes off without a hitch.

There isn’t a pair of dry eyes in the house by the time he and Doyoung finish exchanging their vows and finally kiss. Standing across from Doyoung, Taeyong lets his smile grow wider, his cheeks hurting from how wide it spans. Doyoung’s got an equally wide smile and Taeyong can’t help but kiss him again.

He purposely doesn’t think about Jaehyun and how he looked on their wedding day.

It’s time to let go.

*******

Doyoung dies on a Thursday. The official cause of death is a car crash, but Taeyong knows better. His past is coming for him. It was only a matter of time and no matter how many times Doyoung reassured him that Taeyong’s time as a secret agent didn’t bother him, it doesn’t matter anymore.

It’s gotten him killed. And Taeyong will never forgive himself for it.

*******

Mark and Jisung are the loves of Taeyong’s life. His sons mean everything to him and he’s so, so proud of them. When he and Doyoung first made the choice to have children, they promised to be the best parents a child could ever want. Getting the opportunity to raise the two was such a blessing and every day he gets with them is treated as such.

When his past finally catches up to him for the second time, this time coming for his home, Taeyong’s only regret is that he probably won’t live to see Mark and Jisung grow old. He wants so desperately to see Mark get together with Donghyuck after years of pining, wants Jisung to build up enough confidence to ask Chenle to the amusement park. Wants to see them succeed in school and their careers, live happy lives. There are so many things he knows his children will do, but he’s not going to be able to see it.

“Go! Tell them LTY0107 sent you!”

With that, his sons take off and Taeyong can only hope Minseok and Jongdae will take care of them when he can’t. He looked up their address ages ago in case something like this ever happened. They don’t know Taeyong knows where they live, and they certainly don’t know about Mark and Jisung, but his code should be enough to convince them to hear them out. Steeling himself, Taeyong makes his way into what remains of his bedroom and pulls out his sword, its weight familiar but not as comfortable as it once was.

Wielding the sword is like coming home, but not to Jaehyun or Doyoung or Mark or Jisung. It’s coming home to himself, embracing a part of him long forgotten. Forcibly forgotten. The men who came are clearly surprised he can still fight, but SM didn’t recruit Taeyong because he was weak, even all these years later.

Eventually though, he’s overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people coming at him, and before everything turns to black, Taeyong looks to the sky.

“I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t even know who he’s saying it to.

**Present:**

“Well,” Jaehyun amends with a sniffle, “Taeyong’s rings. I um, I always assumed he threw them out. This one is his engagement ring and the silver one is from our wedding.”

Oh my god.

“You were married to my Dad?” Mark almost shouts, mind racing with about a million thoughts per second.

The idea of his father being married before his marriage to Doyoung is almost more shocking than the revelation that he was a secret agent. Taeyong’s never mentioned this before. Although, if Jaehyun works for SM, there’s a decent chance he was also a secret agent and since Taeyong never talked about that, it almost sort of makes sense that Jaehyun never came up either. Almost.

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says with a smile, “For seven years. We uh, we used to be partners but then after we started dating it didn’t take long for us to marry. SM used to be a lot different back then though, and partners weren’t allowed to get married so it was never legal, but Taeyong and I didn’t care. We were so in love that as long as we had each other it was okay”

Seven _years_. What the actual hell. Mark needs to take a seat before he collapses and Ten seems to notice this because he all but shoves Mark into one.

“Why’d you break up then?” Mark asks faintly, “It sounds like you guys were really happy together.”

Ten nods, “Yeah Jae, you never told anyone. Do tell.”

Jaehyun’s eyes focus on a spot to the left of Mark’s head as he gets lost in memories of the past, “Like I said. SM used to be a lot different, and they treated a lot of us badly. Taeyong used to be the leader of our group, NCT, so he suffered the most. He couldn’t stand being taken advantage of anymore so he decided to leave. Taeyong-he wanted me to leave with him, but I couldn’t. I was too afraid of life without SM, I didn’t have enough faith in our relationship. So we divorced and then he was gone.”

This is too much to take in. God this has to be the longest day of Mark’s life. He feels like his brain is going to explode from information overload. He checks his phone just to see what time it is. It’s only nine. It feels like it’s been a century.

“Tell Jaehyun what day you thought Taeyong’s birthday was,” Ten says softly.

“February 14,” Mark replies automatically, “Valentine’s Day.”

Another tear escapes Jaehyun’s eyes, “That’s my birthday.”

Wonderful. More information to try and process. He hopes Jisung is dealing with less mental strain right now than he is. Is there anything else he needs to know? Any other surprises left in store? At this point, it could be revealed that Doyoung is still alive and Mark would probably just nod and go with it.

A beep cuts through the silence and everyone jumps. Ten checks the watch around his wrist and groans.

“Ugh Junmyeon wants to see me,” Ten says with a roll of his eyes, “I’ll be back as soon as he’s done lecturing me for something I’m sure one of the kids did.”

With that, Ten sweeps out of the room and leaves Mark with Jaehyun. Before the silence can get awkward though, someone shouts enthusiastically from down the hall.

“Hyung!” the voice calls and while Jaehyun groans immediately, Mark freezes.

He knows that voice, what the heck. Please don’t let it be someone he knows, he’s already had too many surprises. Mark doesn’t know what else he can take.

“What on earth could you need now LDH0606?” Jaehyun asks exasperated, turning to greet the person as they come closer.

Lee fucking Donghyuck comes into view and when he sees Mark he freezes as well. That’s it. Mark’s officially lost his mind.

LDH0606. Of course. Lee Donghyuck, born June 6.

“Mark?” Donghyuck squeaks, “What are you doing here?”

“LDH0606,” Jaehyun startles, “You know Mark?”

“For god’s sake hyung just call me Donghyuck,” Donghyuck says with an impatient eye roll, “You’re the only person who insists on calling people by their designation. But yes I know Mark.”

Mark nods in a daze, “We uh, we’re best friends. He-I’ve known him since I was a little kid.”

“We’re boyfriends,” Donghyuck corrects, and oh, they’ve never really talked about it before but okay they’re boyfriends, “Mark why are you here though?”

“Dad,” Mark says, “He is-was-is?, uh, LTY0107. Apparently.”

“Wait,” Donghyuck says, literally holding up his hand, “Your dad, Taeyong, is LTY0107, TY Track? The leader of NCT?”

Mark nods faintly.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Donghyuck complains, “Ugh I always thought your dad was so lame! I mean he was cool for a dad, but also kinda lame. Now that I know he was the badass leader of NCT, I need to like, apologize for insulting him and his legacy.”

“Hyuck,” Mark mumbles, “I didn’t know.”

“How do you not know this kind of valuable information?” Donghyuck demands, clearly not noticing Mark’s distress.

Mark finally breaks then, the tears that had been building finally escaping. He sobs into his hands and shies away when Donghyuck immediately starts apologizing and tries to pat him on the shoulder. This is too much for him to handle. After a couple minutes of him just crying, Mark finally calms down enough to look back up.

Jaehyun and Donghyuck are looking at him with concern and Mark feels embarrassed for all of his tears.

“Mark,” Jaehyun says softly, “It’s okay. I know this is a lot to take in and I’m sorry we’ve unloaded all of this onto you in one day. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling right now.”

Mark sniffles and finally lets Donghyuck hug him, wrapping his arms around Mark’s shoulders. He leans into the touch and stares forlornly at Jaehyun.

“What am I going to do?” he asks, “Dad is missing and Jisung and I have no where to go.”

“We’d never just throw you onto the streets,” Jaehyun reassures him, “If I knew Taeyong at all after being married to him, he’d want me us to take care of you guys and that’s what we’re going to do.”

“Wait,” Donghyuck screeches, “Jaehyun-hyung, you were _married_ to Taeyong?”

Before Jaehyun gets the chance to explain everything again, the door flies open to reveal Ten.

“I’m back!” he announces with a flourish, “What did I miss?”

They give Ten a limited rundown of what happened and even he looks impressed at the series of coincidences. Then he snaps back to business and explains what SM’s leader wanted with him.

“Junmyeon says that if you wanna train with Dream while we search for TY you can. We talked to Jisung and he said that as long as you were okay with it, he’d be more than happy to join,” Ten informs him.

Why not.

Mark repeats this and Ten claps happily, leading Mark outside and babbling away about how much fun he’s going to have learning how to kill a man twelve different ways.

As soon as Mark steps outside with Ten, Jaehyun turns a teasing grin onto Donghyuck, “That’s the hyung you want to impress so bad? You’re already dating? That’s so cute.”

Donghyuck scowls, “Shut up hyung. Go back to being grumpy.”

*******

Mark’s introduced to the kids who collectively call themselves the Dreamies since their unit is called Dream. He recognizes Donghyuck (obviously) and Chenle (which causes Mark to do a double take, seriously how many of his friends were also secret agents), but the rest of them are new. They’re all definitely around his age though, and Mark wonders how long they’ve been training.

Three of them are Korean, and the other six are from China. The Korean members are Donghyuck, Jaemin, and Jeno while the ones from China are Lucas, Renjun, Yangyang, Hendery, Xiaojun, and Chenle. Jisung’s standing next to Chenle while one of the other Dreamies (Jaemin he thinks) is making endeared expressions at him.

They all seem like nice people (if a bit mischievous) so Mark smiles, nervous but genuine, and receives blinding smiles in return. They walk him through the schedule, which includes a lot of training and some downtime, which Mark knows he’ll spend helping to try and track Taeyong down.

He and Jisung are assigned to share a dorm room, and for the first time since they were younger, they push the beds together and sleep together. The following morning, they meet everyone else for breakfast and then get ready to begin the day. Donghyuck takes his hand as they walk down to where the training takes place.

Their instructor, a man named Kun, stands in the training room with a cup of what smells like tea, giving off the impression of a man who Has His Shit Together. Mark’s a little intimidated by him to be honest, Kun looks like he can really whip them all into shape (or better shape, Lucas looks really ripped under his clothes).

This image of Kun is promptly shattered by Yangyang screeching at the sight of him and launching himself into Kun’s arms, shouting, “Kun-Ma!” as he goes. Kun is forced to drop his tea with a yelp in order to catch Yangyang and stares mournfully at where it pools by his feet, composure lost.

“Kun sort of raised most of the China line,” Donghyuck whispers to Mark, “He really is like their mom and dad, but they all call him Kun-Ma because it annoys him more.”

Chenle’s gravitated toward Kun as well, skirting around the spilled tea, latching on to Kun’s backside. Renjun rolls his eyes and goes to clean up the mess, ordering Jaemin and Jeno to get paper towels from the bathroom. Lucas looks amused as the other two members of the China line take photos of the disaster like it’s a daily occurrence. If the rest of the China line is anything like Chenle, it probably is.

Kun finally manages to peel Chenle off of him, having deposited Yangyang on the ground. The tea is gone, but Mark can still see the faint stain outline where it seeped into the floor.

“Alright,” Kun clears his throat and clearly pretending nothing happened, “Since we have two new people today, we’ll take it easy. Start with a warm up jog, five miles.”

Okay, five miles, that’s not too bad right? Mark can do this.

*******

Mark cannot do this. He barely made it through the five miles (thank you sports), drank probably a gallon of water, and then almost cried because Kun had them doing other exercises that left him an even sweatier mess. Everyone else seems to be doing relatively okay (except Jisung, who like him is sweating buckets) and it makes Mark feel bad about himself until Renjun sidles up next to him.

“Don’t worry about being out of shape,” he says with a wave of his hand, “We were all pretty bad our first days too, and you’re not even one of the worst ones. Remind me to show you a video of Jaemin when he first arrived. Boy was that sad to watch.”

“Hey!” Jaemin shouts from where he’s effortlessly balancing on one hand while trying to keep a ball steady between his feet, “Don’t be mean Injunnie!”

“It’s not being mean Nana, it’s stating facts,” Jeno says, dodging the ball Jaemin throws at him before standing back upright.

He cackles as he walks over to where Xiaojun is competing against Hendery to see who can do the most sit ups. A few feet away, Kun is focused on helping Jisung do a handstand with only one hand like Jaemin was before. For all his dancer’s grace, Jisung looks really ungraceful. To be fair though, Mark thinks his own poor jelly arms couldn’t even support him in a regular hand stand.

Jisung almost topples over with a shout, but Kun manages to catch him at the last minute. Jisung sends a thumbs up over his way, having heard Mark’s worried shout and he relaxes, turning his attention back to the weights sitting next to him.

Mark does relatively fine with the lifting until he catches sight of Donghyuck effortlessly doing pull-ups, Lucas next to him watching to make sure he doesn’t fall. Donghyuck sticks his tongue out in concentration and Mark promptly chokes, dropping a weight and narrowly avoids hitting his foot with a yelp. Donghyuck pauses his motion to sneak a cheeky grin at Mark before resuming.

Bastard did it on purpose.

*******

Somehow Mark finds himself acting as the de facto leader of Dream. As the weeks pass, he finds himself improving, able to keep up during the exercises. He even starts leading a few of them and feels kind of bad because before him, Lucas seemed to be in charge, but he seems content to let Mark take over. Kun pats him on the back encouragingly and the Dreamies all take it upon themselves to mimic him.

The training is exhausting, but it’s also fulfilling. The Dreamies really are some of the funniest people Mark’s ever met, and Kun is very caring. He cooks for them a lot since Jaemin is pretty much the only one of them who can cook properly without burning the kitchen down. Donghyuck used to be on that list until Yuta came to visit one time and a towel caught fire, almost destroying SM.

As for the rest of them, they all stress Kun out too much to even be assistants, which means they rarely step foot in the kitchen. Mark doesn’t mind, for as good a chef as Taeyong was, the skill did not pass down to either him or Jisung. The way Mark gets banned from the kitchen is over fruit. Apparently cutting fruit with scissors is not proper form, and in Mark’s defense it got the job done pretty decently, but Kun’s horrified expression let him know where he stood. Jisung tried to make pancakes once and managed to get one stuck on the ceiling after attempting to flip it, so Kun ushered him out before adding him to the long list of people banned.

Interestingly, the China line got themselves banned in one fell swoop. Donghyuck gleefully recounts the time that for Mother’s Day last year, the China line tried to make Kun breakfast. The key word there being tried. The breakfast they attempted was pretty elaborate, something Kun had mentioned loving as a child, and the kids had been determined to do a good job. According to Donghyuck, a very valiant effort was made, but the food was near inedible. Somehow Kun managed to stomach a bite or two before he kicked them out of the kitchen and remade breakfast.

Out of gratitude, the kids offered to do the dishes, but Kun was too afraid of letting them back into the kitchen so he did them himself. Later, he thanked them for the thought, but also begged them to never try and cook anything ever again.

In his spare time, Mark makes sure to check in on Jisung and ensure that he’s happy and doing okay. For the most part, he seems okay, adjusting pretty well to their new environment. Chenle being here also seems to help since it reminds Jisung of their life before. He still catches them cracking up over random videos and the sight is so familiar Mark can almost convince himself nothing has changed.

He and Jisung talked about their father and the new information they have about him the first night they arrived at SM. They both agreed that no matter what kind of job he had in the past, Taeyong is always going to be their dorky father. When they reunite with him, they both have about a million questions, but for now, training occupies almost all of their time.

Almost a month after they arrived at SM, Mark is lying in his dorm bed, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts blissfully blank. Today is their day off, and Mark took advantage of the opportunity to sleep in for once. There’s a knock on the door and he tells whoever it is to enter without bothering to get out of bed.

“Hey,” Donghyuck says nervously, “Um, we had an idea about the team name and maybe changing it, but we want to know how you feel about it.”

Mark looks up surprised, “Uh sure, shoot.”

“Well,” he says, “Your dad was Lee Taeyong and he was the leader of NCT. You’re basically the leader of Dream, so we thought to honor that we’d combine the two and become NCT Dream, as well as make you our actual leader.”

The tear that slides down his face catches both him and Donghyuck by surprise. Mark doesn’t get emotional too often, but the offer catches him off guard. Leading Dream, and having it be renamed to honor his family leaves Mark at a loss for words.

“I don’t want to be leader just because my dad was Lee Taeyong,” Mark mumbles, “And I don’t want to change Dream’s name because of it either.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Hendery says from where the rest of Dream have filtered in, “You’re our leader because we like you and want you to be. Your history has nothing to do with that. The choice to change the name was ours.”

“Yeah,” Chenle giggles, “Besides, Lucas was too hard on us. You’re easier to convince to let us mess around.”

The next thing Mark hears is dolphin shrieks as Renjun gets him in a headlock and smiles sweetly.

“In all seriousness,” Lucas says, ignoring Chenle’s cries for help, “We all talked and agreed that we respected what Taeyong did for this company and what you and Jisung have done. This is our way of saying thank you.”

Okay. NCT Dream it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I enjoyed getting to explore TY's side of the story for once and delving a bit more into his relationship with Doyoung. Dotae have a really fun dynamic in real life, and I tried to capture a little bit of that here.  
> -Poor Mark. It's been a really long day. (Of course Hyuck refers to TY as TY Track.)  
> -#savekun2k19  
> -Chapter title from No Longer (for sad hours)
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/yellowmusings)


	4. to live and to endure

Mark knows that ever since he and Jisung showed up, Junmyeon has been searching for Taeyong. He has some of SM’s best trackers on the hunt, including Yixing, who worked under him as part of EXO. Though he tries to keep his thoughts from going there, Mark truly doesn’t know if his father is still alive. Memories of the day Mark’s life changed are etched into his brain, and the odds were not in favor of Taeyong.

Still. He’s not going to give up hope. A week following Dream’s name change to NCT Dream, Junmyeon calls Mark back into his office and he allows himself to feel hope.

“Mark,” Junmyeon says, “This is Yixing. I know I’ve mentioned him before but this is the first time you’ve met in person. He has some good news for you.”

Yixing is in a wheelchair, and his eyes sparkle with mischief.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Yixing grins, “I’m glad to be able to inform you that we’ve located Taeyong.”

Mark is sure Yixing says more after that, but he can’t hear it over the sound of blood rushing to his ears. He thanks Yixing profusely, and nods when Junmyeon dismisses him to get Dream ready for the extraction mission. Mark sprints to the dorm where he knows Jisung is and throws the door open without knocking.

“They found Dad,” Mark tells Jisung breathlessly.

Jisung shoots up from where he was lounging on his bed, going through their photo album, and stares at Mark, daring him to say it’s a joke. When Mark doesn’t, Jisung’s eyes well with tears.

“What?” he says, “Where? Oh my god are they sending people after him?”

Mark nods. As soon as Yixing managed to track Taeyong’s location, Junmyeon called up Sehun and Jongin, asking them to come in. He also had Ten, Johnny, and Yuta, all three of whom had volunteered without thought, leaping at the chance to see their leader one more time.

“They’re sending Dream too,” Mark tells his brother, “So gear up. We’ve got a dad to save.”

Jisung stares in shock for a second before jumping into action, changing faster than Mark has ever seen before in his life. When the brothers make it out of their room, the rest of Dream is waiting for them, having already gotten the notification. Lucas beams at him and gives a huge thumbs up to show his support.

“Thank you for coming,” Mark chokes out, “This means a lot to me and Jisung, you can’t even imagine.”

Jeno smiles at him gently, “You and Jisung are family now Mark. And Dream protects their own.”

The others echo the sentiment but Mark still makes sure to thank them again. Donghyuck makes a show of it, swooning when Mark finally smiles, but as they make their way to the hangar, he takes Mark’s hand and gives it a comforting squeeze.

They meet up with the rest of the team and are introduced to Sehun and Jongin, both of whom tower over everyone but Johnny. Sehun’s deadpan expression intimidates Mark for a minute until Johnny trips over his own feet and Sehun laughs. His eyes crinkle into half moons just like Jeno, making him look instantly younger, and Mark lets out a smile of his own.

Junmyeon is there to wish them well, reminding their pilot (a very hyper man named Baekhyun) not to crash the plane. Not exactly reassuring to hear before taking off, but Baekhyun was also part of EXO which means he’s at least somewhat competent. Worst case, Renjun takes over.

Right as the plane doors begin to close, Mark hears rapidly approaching footsteps.

“Wait!” a voice shouts, “I’m coming with you.”

Jaehyun.

*******

Despite the amount of training he’s done over the past few weeks, Mark still feels overwhelmed by the task ahead of him. According to Yixing, Taeyong is being held in one of Cube’s complexes. And according to the groan Sehun let out when he figured out their destination, it’s going to be hard to get into. Lots of men and a labyrinth like design, combined to create one hell of a complex.

But looking around at the people who are with him, Mark’s not worried.

Sehun and Jongin are talking about the mission and how much they missed annoying Junmyeon on a daily basis. It reminds Mark of Jisung and Chenle, the two youngest members always causing trouble and giggling like a pair of fools together over it. It feels weird to realize, that Sehun and Jongin used to be his brother’s age and younger, going on dangerous missions and risking their lives.

Mark wonders if he and the rest of Dream will still be in the game by the time they reach Sehun and Jongin’s age. They can’t be much older than his father, but it’s still a long time to be active in the field. He supposes they could end up like Minseok or Jongdae, safe homes (although initially unwitting) for former agents. These are thoughts for later though, right now his dad needs him.

As expected, getting in is not a walk in the park. While Baekhyun guards the plane, the rest of them spring into action. Ten and Hendery are set up a distance away so that they can take out enemies long distance. Between Ten’s impeccable aim and Hendery’s enthusiasm, Mark knows they’re in good hands from above. They’re all connected through the communicators in their ears and their watches, which sync up to spread information in a silent manner. It also keeps track of where they all are so they can find each other if things go wrong.

Any doubts he might have secretly had about Sehun and Jongin’s age fade away once he sees them in action. Junmyeon said that Jongin used to be a ballet dancer, and Mark can tell from the way he moves that age hasn’t slowed him down. Sehun is equally as beautiful to watch, silent but deadly. He thinks they used to be partners based on how familiar they are with the way the other moves. If Jongin goes up, Sehun goes down and vice versa. It’s instincts only years of experience together could have honed.

Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun are also just as impressive and Mark thanks whatever higher power there is that they’re on his side. He almost feels bad for the people at Cube. Their butts are getting seriously kicked. Then he remembers that they set his house on fire and kidnapped his dad and feels less bad.

Next to the adults, the Dreamies are a little less quiet, but no less deadly. Mark’s never seen this side of Donghyuck but he’s certainly not complaining. They bring their usual chaos to the fight, but it works to create a distraction. The other thing is that their enemies seem to underestimate them because of their age, and nothing gives Mark greater satisfaction than wiping the looks of derision off their faces with a well placed kick.

Once they clear the entrance and are fairly certain no one is coming as backup for at least another couple of minutes, they stop to go over the complex’s plan one more time.

Lucas, Xiaojun, and Yuta all stand guard by the entrance and the rest of them move on deeper into the maze. Finding the control room is the next step, and it seems the floor plan they were all forced to memorize was accurate because it only takes a few turns for them to make it. Mark’s been in corn mazes with more complexity. The door is locked, but Jeno just grins before picking the lock with ease and gesturing for them to file in.

Yangyang immediately waltzes over to where the computers are, humming as he types.

“According to this, Taeyong is somewhere over here,” Yangyang says pointing to the monitor, “It shouldn’t be too hard to gain access and meet him if some of you want to go first and clear the way.”

They all look at each other and come to a silent agreement.

“Okay,” Jongin says, “The rest of us will either stay here and hold down the room or go out and search for other information we can get on Cube. Junmyeon wants to take them down.”

Sehun nods briskly, “I’ll take Johnny, Chenle, and Jaemin. Jongin, you, Jeno, and Renjun stay here with Yangyang.”

A quick nod from everyone and they split up. Heart racing, Mark grabs Jisung’s hand and together with Jaehyun they take off, the location of Taeyong already downloaded onto their watches.

Right before they make it, about a corridor or two away, Mark spots a squadron of guards waiting for them. Cursing, he pulls Jisung behind him and prepares to fight.

*******

Somehow, Jaehyun ends up separated from Mark and Jisung. He panics for a second before hearing Mark speak through their communicators and tell Jaehyun to move forward, that he and Jisung will be fine. According to the tracker, there’s only two more turns before he reaches Taeyong.

He can hear the sound of people crying out, and Jaehyun creeps closer, grip on his sword tightening. It slackens however, when he sees who’s at the end of the hall.

*******

“Taeyong,” Jaehyun breathes.

Twenty odd years later and Taeyong is still as beautiful as he remembers. His hair isn’t red anymore, instead pitch black, and he’s definitely older, but so is Jaehyun. It doesn’t make him any less stunning. Jaehyun drinks in the sight of him like a man deprived of water (and in some ways, he is, was). He can’t get enough, taking in Taeyong’s face, his hair, his complexion, his clothes, his everything.

Taeyong is staring back at him.

One of the guys lying on the floors makes a move as if to attack, but Taeyong shoots him and the man falls back down to the ground, limp. It’s almost weird seeing him without a sword. They’re all trained in how to use a gun, usually use them as their primary weapons, but Taeyong was always more attached to the sword. He was so good with it that he often didn’t even need anything else.

“How did you-?” Jaehyun begins to ask.

For someone who was being held captive for almost seven weeks, Taeyong looks amazing. And he’s not just saying that because they used to be married. He looks like he just came back from a vacation, not a hostage situation.

“The guards all rushed out when they heard the sound of an attack. They only left behind three of them, so I took the opportunity to escape,” Taeyong replies.

The sound of another explosion wracks the building and Jaehyun wonders if it came from them or Cube. He and Taeyong both swear and dive for cover in the nearest room, slamming the door shut behind them. Someone, this ends up meaning Jaehyun is cramped in a small space, Taeyong across from him, both of them breathing heavily from exertion. Damn they’ve gotten old.

“So,” Jaehyun says aimlessly, “You have two sons. And got married. Again.”

“…Yes,” Taeyong says back stiffly, “I did.”

“Uh, how come I didn’t get an invite to the wedding?” Jaehyun tries to joke.

Taeyong’s stare is withering.

Right not the time for jokes. This is a life or death situation, and Taeyong definitely doesn’t know the full extent of things Jaehyun’s learned. The priority here is getting everyone out safely.

“Sorry,” Jaehyun mutters, “It’s kind of been a long couple of weeks.”

“You’re telling me,” Taeyong agrees, “Never thought I’d be in this kind of situation again.”

“What happened?” Jaehyun asks.

“My house burned down.” Taeyong deadpans, “And Cube came swarming. I wasn’t going to let Mark and Jisung stay, they’d only have gotten hurt, so I sent them somewhere I knew to be safe.”

“You sent them to me,” Jaehyun says softly.

Taeyong shakes his head, still refusing to look at him, “I sent them to Minseok and Jongdae. I didn’t know you would get involved.”

Jaehyun frowns, “That’s bullshit, you knew SM would get involved. You sent them to members of EXO.”

“I knew SM would get involved,” Taeyong says, “I said I didn’t know _you_ would get involved.”

“You know, SM has changed,” Jaehyun says desperately, “Right after you left Kim Junmyeon, EXO’s leader, he led a revolution and took over SM. You could always come back to NCT.”

The “to me” goes unsaid, but both of them hear it loud and clear. It occurs to Jaehyun that Taeyong probably doesn’t even know that NCT hasn’t had a leader since he left. He wonders what Taeyong would say about that. Probably something noble and self-sacrificing, that NCT should’ve picked someone better, more worthy to lead them.

Taeyong shakes his head, “Jaehyun, when I told you I was never going back I meant it. It doesn’t matter if SM has changed, I’ve got other priorities, I have Mark and Jisung to look after and make sure they grow happy, healthy, and safe. As soon as this is over I’m collecting them from Minseok and Jongdae and moving far away from here.”

“You know Mark and Jisung joined Dream right?” Jaehyun asks, “I know it was just a far off idea when we were both at SM, but Junmyeon started it up a few years ago. Mark’s sort of their leader, and they actually changed the name to NCT Dream in honor of you. Us.”

“What?” Taeyong all but hisses, “You let my sons join SM?”

“It wasn’t my choice,” Jaehyun defends, “Ten’s the one who convinced them it would be a good idea.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes, “Oh because that makes it better.”

“Did your precious husband ever know about me or was I something you dumped and left behind permanently?” Jaehyun spits, the rings Mark gave him burning where they hang from around his neck.

It’s an abrupt subject change, but the question has been burning in the back of Jaehyun’s mind ever since he first saw Mark. He’d added his own band to the chain and started wearing it, his only remaining link to Taeyong. Jaehyun hadn’t looked at his ring in over a decade since he took it off and threw it in one of his drawers, but the night Mark and Jisung arrived, he dug it out with trepidation. He’d also had the chance to talk to Mark over the past few weeks and although he seemed uncomfortable at first, Mark slowly opened up about his childhood.

It was a bit of a surreal experience to hear about Mark’s Taeyong, who shared so many similarities to his Taeyong (like crying over dramas) but also had so many differences. An artist. Huh, guess Taeyong could make it.

Taeyong’s second husband, Doyoung, seemed like a pretty normal guy and Jaehyun wants to know how much of Taeyong’s past was revealed.

Taeyong diverts his eyes, “Doyoung never knew about you.”

Jaehyun scoffs, “Of course he didn’t. Wouldn’t want to ruin your perfect life.”

“I didn’t tell him about you because it hurt too much to talk about,” Taeyong cries.

“Didn’t stop you from moving on, getting remarried, and having two kids.”

“What do you have against my kids?” Taeyong asks defensively.

Jaehyun deflates a little, “I-they’re good kids Taeyong. I just wish they were ours.”

He watches Taeyong’s mouth open and close for a bit as he searches for a response. Frankly Jaehyun doesn’t even know what he could possibly say and suddenly all of the years they spent apart are catching up. There never used to be these kinds of silences between them. It really has been a long time.

“Mark and Jisung are always going to be my pride and joy,” Taeyong says, “And if we had stayed together, they might not have existed.”

Jaehyun laughs in disbelief, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I don’t know Jaehyun!” Taeyong says exasperated, “But it’s the truth. I’m never going to regret marrying you, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”

“No!” Jaehyun shouts, “I don’t care anymore. I waited for you to send me a letter, a text, any sign to let me know you were okay. When I didn’t get anything I thought you were dead and I mourned, but it turns out you were playing house with some fancy lawyer, and I didn’t find out until your sons showed up on my doorstep some twenty years later. That’s pretty shitty Taeyong.”

Taeyong sighs and when he looks up, he looks so tired, “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry?”

“It would be a good start,” Jaehyun mutters bitterly.

For better or for worse, their argument gets interrupted by the sound of another explosion. They creep out from their hiding spot after checking to make sure the room is still clear. Jaehyun curses when he hears footsteps approaching, and Taeyong grips his weapon, crouching down to greet whoever comes through. The sight is so familiar that Jaehyun’s heart clenches, recalling all the times before he watched Taeyong do this before.

When the door opens though, it’s not enemies. It’s Mark, with Jisung behind him.

*******

“Dad!” Mark shouts, running towards him.

Taeyong catches Mark in a fierce hug. They remain like that for a while, only separating a little so Jisung can join in. Taeyong holds them close and whispers words of affection and love in their ears.

“I’m so sorry you got dragged into this mess,” Taeyong says, “You’ve both been so brave. I’m proud of you, Appa would be proud too. I don’t know what on earth I did to deserve such amazing sons like you two.”

Jisung wipes his tears with the back of his hand and smiles, “Thanks Dad, you’re pretty brave too. Appa would be proud of all of us.”

Taeyong smiles back and laughs a little, “He would. He was a wonderful man your Appa. A wonderful man who raised two wonderful kids.”

“Don’t discredit yourself Dad,” Mark says, “You’ve done so much for us.”

Overwhelmed with emotion, Taeyong hugs his children again, muffling his tears in their shoulders. Mark sighs and savors the feeling of being in his father’s arms again.

“You’re never leaving my sight after this ever again, okay?” Taeyong says sternly, “Dream or no Dream.”

“Okay Dad,” Mark says, “Promise.”

“Promise,” Jisung echos.

“By the way,” Jisung says, “We uh, found your sword Dad. They had it locked away under some heavy surveillance, but Renjun was able to break through no problem. He’s kinda scary like that.”

Taeyong grins and takes the proffered blade, “Thank you.”

Whirling the sword around as though it weighs nothing (even though Jisung can attest to the fact that it’s actually kind of heavy), Taeyong shows off a little for his children. Jisung claps his hands together in delight and Jaehyun is struck by the reminder of just how young the kid is.

Jaehyun softens at the sight, a whole new side of Taeyong previously seen only on a smaller scale, before another (another! seriously what is with the amount of explosions) explosion is heard. He just hopes none of their friends have gotten hurt.

Mark reaches a hand up to where his ear communicator is and they all wait as he listens in to whoever is talking. It seems urgent, and must be only for Mark since Jisung and Jaehyun can’t hear anything.

“Okay,” Mark announces, “Everyone else is out but Lucas and Jaemin, they’re waiting for all of us to come so we can get out of here.”

Jaehyun smiles for the first time since this hell began and is ready to leave and never look back, but then he hears the sound of footsteps and knows that it’s not any of theirs. Based on the sound, there’s definitely too many of them for the four of them to take on comfortably and make it out unscathed.

Taeyong seems to know this too, because he hugs Mark and Jisung one final time.

Ignoring their protests, Taeyong shoves Mark towards Jisung and shouts, “Go! Keep each other safe. Jaehyun and I will handle this. I love you guys so, so much. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

This time, Jisung is the one who takes Mark’s hand and the two run for their lives. Looking over his father for what Mark knows deep inside is the last time, he notes that despite how tired Taeyong looks, he’s still smiling for them.

*******

As soon as Mark and Jisung are out of sight, Taeyong’s smile crumbles and he looks so miserable Jaehyun can’t help but hug him. Taeyong hugs him back and having him in his arms again feels like coming home. No matter how much time passes, no matter what kind of relationship they have, Taeyong will always be home.

Jaehyun knows they’re running out of time, and even though he knows that this is worth it, that getting the remaining Dreamies out alive is so important, that they won’t be going down without a fight, he doesn’t want to die.

“Jae,” Taeyong says, “I’m sorry.”

And that’s that.

*******

“Mark,” Junmyeon says softly.

Mark is sitting in Junmyeon’s office, nursing a cup of hot chocolate that Kyungsoo handed him. He knows he must look like hell, but no one can really blame him.

His father died. Taeyong’s dead. He, along with Jaehyun, sacrificed himself so that Mark could get the rest of the Dreamies out alive. Just like he did when their house was ablaze. Always keeping his children safe. Everyone keeps telling him it was a very noble thing to do, but the words ring hollow in Mark’s ears. That was his father. He doesn’t care how noble it was, Mark wants Taeyong back.

The only things they found once the dust settled was Jaehyun’s sword and the chain Taeyong had pressed into Mark’s hands what felt like an eternity ago, with the lone addition of a ring that must have belonged to Jaehyun. Jaehyun must have kept the rings after Mark gave them to him, stored in his pocket or something. He gave the sword to Jisung and kept the chain and rings for himself. It rests around his neck, a permanent reminder of his father and the first man he ever loved. A tribute to one of the best partnerships SM ever created.

“I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the future of SM you know?” Junmyeon says, “And that’s really what NCT Dream is. The future of SM. Our little Dreamies. You showed real courage out there in the field, and real leadership skills at that. I could never get EXO under control as fast as you did and god knows I tried. So if you want, I’d like to offer you a position in NCT Dream, permanently, as their leader.”

*******

“You could do it you know,” Ten says.

Mark does know. Ever since Junmyeon made him the offer to officially lead Dream, he’d thought about it daily. It’s a lot of pressure, leading the next generation of agents that SM has to offer.

There are many pros and cons, and Mark has a list of them scribbled on a sheet of paper in his room.

Pros:  
-He’d get to be with all of his friends and his baby brother  
-He can help make the world a better place  
-He doesn’t have to hide his relationship with Donghyuck  
-He can keep his promise to Taeyong of not letting Jisung out of his sight

Cons:  
-His father dedicated (and gave) his life to SM, and after he left, his family was destroyed  
-There’s a lot of pressure  
-There’s a part of him that wants a normal life

Most of the things above can be argued either way, even if he doesn’t become a member of Dream, Mark can still see his friends and brother and Donghyuck. And SM has changed a lot since Taeyong left and subsequently lost his husband before losing his own life.

A lot of his consideration has gone towards Taeyong and what he would think about the offer. His father led NCT for nine years of his life before abandoning it for a chance at a normal one. And Mark knows that Taeyong really doesn’t regret it for the most part, the culture at SM was really toxic when he left and it was for the best for everyone. Except Jaehyun.

Sure the rest of NCT was lost for a bit without their leader, but no one more so than Jaehyun. He feels bad for him. In the entire time Mark knew him, which was admittedly only a few weeks, the only time Mark saw Jaehyun truly happy was when he was with Taeyong. That kind of happiness, it reminds Mark of movie nights with Donghyuck. Of late nights dancing with Jisung. Of training with the Dreamies and finding a new place to call home.

Mark knows what his decision is.

*******

Standing in front of the ten Dreamies is intimidating, but Mark relaxes when he sees Donghyuck smiling and Jisung shooting him a thumbs up. That’s his boyfriend and favorite little brother.

Little brother. Looking at his friends once more, Mark’s reminded of how close he’s become to these people. His brothers. He would die for any of them without a second thought, give them the time to escape and live their lives. This is his life now, and he can’t imagine it any other way.

He wonders how Taeyong gave it all up.

Mark takes a deep breath, “Yo Dream!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I love you TY and Jaehyun.  
> -More EXO members popping in to give Junmyeon stress (although they're surprisingly well behaved for once.)  
> -Chapter title is from Without You (the original bop)
> 
> Happy Birthday TY Track! I hope next year is just as successful as this one was.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this and sticking with it until the end! I had a really fun time writing this and hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Come find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/yellowmusings)


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